If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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