she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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