Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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