Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
