The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Houston, we have a blender
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
