I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
