Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she peed on how many people?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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