I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
