I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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