I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
