:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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