$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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