Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
