Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
