erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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