Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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