Someone shit on the floor
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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