Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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