i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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