He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
