I'm going to rape someone's good day.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
