The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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