Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
