can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The Olympian is in my bed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
