Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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