It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
