you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
