you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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