Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
