Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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