Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize