i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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