I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
