first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
