One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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