I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
