I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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