Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
