I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
