That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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