So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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