i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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