I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
