Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
