I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize