he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
