So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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