i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We need to rekindle our bromance
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
