Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You need a sexual gate keeper
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
