we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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