that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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