Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So squirting runs in the family.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
