Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
How's work?
Spinning.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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