My balls are so social today.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
