I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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