I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
