In America we eat man semen.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
