Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
