Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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